I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
