it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
