You really coming over, don't trick.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
