I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
