I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
