you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Pants are for mortals
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
