Me too!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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