She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
