That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
