my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
