Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
