the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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