The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
