I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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