I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
