Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
