if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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