She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
