Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She told me I should be a condom model.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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