we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
bring money and cleavage
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
