Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
