no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
