i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
