I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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