Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Dicks are not precious.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
