im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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