And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
