I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
