Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
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Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
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I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize