Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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