The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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