Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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