i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
