is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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