Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
