oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
