so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
