Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Two words: blizzard sex
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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