i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
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She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize