you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
