i already hear my dad disowning me
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
