Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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