This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
