Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
