puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
