I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
