please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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