she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
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I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
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She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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