Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
