garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
