mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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