dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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