i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
