he wants to bone in the snuggie
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
