There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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