All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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