Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
