got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
