i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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