So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
