Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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